Now Get This

Just What Is Swim Apparel Anyhow?

There I was happily doing my laps, when one of the teenage lifeguards called me over to tell me I wasn't allowed in the pool as I wasn't wearing a swimsuit. Now mind you I was not naked, that's for sure.

I had on a pair of nylon running shorts, with interior nylon panties, and a matching nylon sports bra that is identical to a Speedo competition swim top. Some of these combos I have purchased along the way have had labels noting, "for sports and swim." This particular set did not but it was virtually identical to other sets I have. I have a pair of Lands End swim shorts designed exactly the same as the shorts I had on. I have been swimming in these sets for at least eight years or more and I've been at the pool nearly every nice day this summer and last summer and the summer before....

The teenage lifeguard insisted "management" had told her it was not a swimsuit and therefore I had to leave. I climbed out, and stalked out to the office where I found one of the managers and asked her exactly what their definition of a swimsuit was. She was totally confused and had no answer, telling me she never would have said anything to me. So she called the big manager...some guy who was there for the first time on the job. He kind of shrugged and suggested the Speedo racing suit the woman had on was a swimsuit. Now, if everyone at the pool was wearing a Speedo racing suit, I'd be fine, but that is not so. Plenty of the boys and men are wearing shorts of one kind or another and the women's suits...or bathing apparel... run the gamut from full Islamic coverups to mirco bikinis. I kept asking just what a swimsuit was and noted that many of the lifeguards wore similar shorts over their suits. "But," he insisted, "they had bathing suits on underneath."

"So, what is a swimsuit?" I asked again. I was told it was made out of nylon...like my shorts and top. They clearly had no answer. "Fine," I replied. "I have a suit at home that is made exactly like this. I wonder if it's worth it to go home and change into it?"

"Well, that is a sports bra. That's the problem," the woman said.

"No," I replied, "the lifeguard also said my shorts were wrong too."

Above is a picture of a Speedo top. My top is a different color combination, but the design is exactly the same.

So, no one had an answer. I left and drove home, still wet and fuming. The pool is only open one more day for the summer. I have my swim shorts and a true bathing suit top, so I'll wear that tomorrow, just in case all the lifeguards are on the lookout. "Little Miss Fashionista" who knows her "swimsuits" might not even be on duty, but I will take no chances as I want to get all my laps in.

However, I intend to pursue the matter with upper management. I want a clear definition of "swim apparel," and an explanation as to why it is part of, according to the lifeguard, the pool insurance policy. I could, by all accounts sew up a nice little two piece swimsuit from almost any fabric in the world and have a legitimate "swimsuit," so fabric is not the answer. And certainly, my outfit was modest enough so that's not the issue. Frankly, I just don't get it. Seems to me Little Miss Lifeguard was on a power trip or something and no one bothered to tell her it wasn't appropriate. And I surely would like to know which manager supported her assertion in the first place.

Then again, I could be wrong. So I will let the legal eagles sort it out for next season--provided they are willing to renew my membership after this!

Well I came home and, since it was rather cool and breezy, I decided to ride. I have decided to take Chance to my next lesson, since I am not sure about what it bothering Tucker. When I went out to the pasture, Chance bopped right over to me, so he was an easy catch. Of course, when I gave him a treat I was immediately surrounded by two pushy Thoroughbreds, but I kept them at bay and took Chance into the barn.

It took a while to get him to soften to the bit tonight, but eventually we got there. He still doesn't have the concept firmly in his brain and body, but every once in a while he settles in to some really nice work. I figure if I get some training in over the next two weeks, he will be pretty good about it. I say this because in a bit over a half hour of work, he was able to canter on both leads with his head down. The departs are still a little "iffy" as far as balance goes, but he's getting there.

Now for the best part! Chance passed the B52 test with flying colors. As I was riding him, a big horsefly started buzzing around. Chance fussed a little, which was the only clue I had that the fly was there. It landed on his rump, I tried to hit it and it flew off. I dismounted quickly, and this time got the critter when it landed again...on his rump. Chance scored super points as he actually stood there and didn't make any threat to buck or jump away. Remember, when Tucker was attacked by one of these monster flies on a hack, he bucked me off, and both he and Toby will buck in the arena if one comes near them.

Not Chance! He is a star. I gave him the biggest carrot I had after I cooled him out.

I decided since there were some B52's about that I'd long line Tucker instead of riding. I won't quite give him super high scores, but he was pretty good. I had to work a lot to keep him from curling up behind the bit instead of pushing out to it through his whole body, and he did kick out a few times--not quite enough in my direction to be punished for it, but a bit threatening nonetheless. If I could have reached him with the lunge whip, I would have swatted him for it, but he was too far out on the lines for me to reach. Once he got himself going truly forward, he gave me some nice work, but it took a good bit of convincing to get him there.

By then, the B52's had been replaced by mosquitoes and they were certainly finding me, so I called it a night and fed both Toby and Tucker the other two, smaller carrots.

I may not have swum my last four laps of the pool, but I got some good exercise anyhow.